The rumors are growing about the explosive coffee*, some people already baptized it as the terrorist. A term regretably popular nowadays.

My friend Margarita, from el Vedado, Havana, told me that her next door neighbor in the building showed her the wounds and burns caused by the explosion of stove top coffee maker.

Her neighbor not only burned her hands when trying to remove it from the stove, but also was wounded twice, as the pot itself, because of the compressed gases, blew off the stove hitting her in the forehead and the head. She was seen at the closest medical center, where her wounds were stitched and the burns were treated. My friend said she is sure, that at least on her face,  she will keep permanently the mark of that espresso coffee.

Another friend called me and told me how, arming herself up with patience, she took an awl and using it as a reamer started to enlarge one by one the little holes of her coffeemaker, in order to make the famous coffee. She was very kind in offering her services to do the same job to mine, but I didn’t accept her helping hand at all, claiming that I preferred not to drink it, because we had spent more than fifty years trying to solve the problems of socialism in detriment to ourselves: If there’s no transportation, walk! If there’s no running water, find a river and wash up there, or wait until rains !

That’s what happen to everything.

I refuse to put glass marbles in the ground coffee in order to make it, I refuse to enlarge the holes of my coffee pot strainer, I refuse to buy and drink that product which in the package blatantly states is 50% coffee and 50% fillers!

Also recently, in a very well known TV program, whose host covers many topics, they presented a medical doctor at front of the cameras to say that coffee mixed with peas was better for your health, because it had a lesser effect on the nervous system. What really makes me nervous, is the lack of selfrespect of a physician to participate in such a game!

It already happened once, when the taro was scarce, somebody said on the small screen that  European children didn’t eat taro and you should see how healthy they were. Also in another opportunity, when citrus fruits was scarce (like right now) somebody said that the orange juice caused heartburn in the children. And so forth.

Gentlemen, let’s stop the deceptions and euphemistic names, we have to be courageous and call the things by their own name. Enough already of when it rains it pours.

*Translator’s note: Since the government has subsituted a mixture of half-peas and half-coffee for regular coffee, the coffeemakers of Cuba have been exploding on the stoves. Apparently the peas swell up and block the holes in the coffee maker and then the whole contraption blows up.

Translated by Adrian Rodriguez

Spanish post
June 30 2011