On my planet, for more than four decades, a croquette appeared, whose formula, until recently, was kept secret For many years they were sold in bulk. Now, since a while ago, they decided to pack them in nylon packages and give them a name. In the beginning people called them “bird croquettes,” to find out what they are (the word for finding out, being a play on the word for bird, in Spanish); others called them “aviators” because they stick the roof of your mouth. They have a hot pink pigmentation, the source of which is still unknown; it could be the color of shame. Many people have also called them “lifesavers,” since in many cases that have come to be the highlight of any family dinner. Since then, these alimentary artifacts are sold in the fish markets, though they have nothing to do with the products of the sea: they are bread crumbs and cassava!

The arrival of these always brings joy, fights, riots on the line, et cetera. Hence the origin of the phrase that is the title of this post. They are not tasty, but they supply a snack food for the great majority of the population, because they only cost 50 centavos each (in national money, about 2 cents in hard currency). Whenever you see a large number of people in front of the fish market, it’s not because they are waiting for fish, which there almost never is any of and which is extremely expensive; it’s simply because of the expectation of the imminent arrival of these heroines.

They have become so popular, themselves, like the great conglomerates that generate waiting. On the popular slang they have introduced a very nice term to describe certain situations. For example, with a person is hysterical, they say he has “an attack of the croquette,” and the same when a child is throwing a fit, or if a ruckus starts up, everyone says, “NO!!!! It’s an attack of the croquette!

Excuse me friends, but I have to leave you for a moment. It’s time to go to the kitchen and fix our daily lunch, before I, too, suffer from the syndrome, the attack of the croquette.

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